OH DARN, WE HAVE RAM AND SITA NOW

December 26, 2008

Yes, we have the reincarnations of Ram and Sita in our jungle. (As seen on Sagarmatha TV report.)

After Ram Bahadur Bomjan’s reincarnation as the Buddha, we now have a couple doing their “jungle lila” in Chatara of Sunsari district, claiming to have taken over by divine souls of Ram and Sita.

Forget the republic or people’s republic and all the political bullshit. At this rate, Nepal should be declared the Land of Reincarnations.

In no time, we will have Lord Shiva and Parvati doing their “lila” in the jungles. And to supreme delight of Hare Krishna followers, Bishnu and Krishna are likely to follow the hoard of reincarnated gods trying to cleanse the sinners and save the humanity. Jesus F. Christ too, after so notoriously eluding during the End of Days and millennium, should start planning to appear in the jungles. Dude, it’s already a time for your “second coming”, isn’t it? So, you don’t want to miss out because this has been a very hot season for reincarnations. (I am really not sure about Allah though.)

This couple of Ram and Sita, however, may not spur on as large a fan-following as our Buddha Boy managed to do. Reason – mainly because of their looks! (Sorry, no photos yet) They are simply not up to the par. You see, we have had the perfect pictures of the gods (ie, wall posters of gods) since time immemorial.

Gautam Buddha, as gentle, smiling, ever forgiving with shaven head and wrapped up in white linen, a messenger of peace, meditating underneath the tree. Our Buddha Boy does seem to carry the same presence and aura of Gautam Buddha, except for his long hairs. The long hair is there to give Buddha a retro look, to appeal the modern mass. That’s quite understandable, isn’t it?

As far as, Ram and Sita are concerned, they have been depicted as a lovely couple of Arun Gobil and Deepika. Thanks to Ramanand Sagar’s Ramayan on television, Hindus, especially of the Indian sub continent, have envisioned Ram as a very handsome guy with radiating countenance; while Sita as an angel with seducing eyes like of deer.

Thus it is going to be really hard for this reincarnated Ram and Sita, because of their unappealing and uncharismatic looks, to assure the people that they have the souls of the gods. A very costly glitch in the marketing department, indeed! Bad for business!! Poor Ram and Sita, they can’t even beat our Din Bandhu Pokharel in good looks. So they must plan for another gimmick.

(Suggestion for Jesus F Christ reincarnation: you need to be white skinned, have long hair with a white ring stuck behind the head, have beard and a face of a loser – like the vocalist of a crappy melodic metal band.)

Their gimmick is that the earth, they claim, will be completely destroyed in the next four years and three months or so. Seen in their dreams, the Kali Yug will come to an end and the Satya Yug will start. All the sinners will be completely wiped out and their asses will be eternally toasted in Hell, while the pious ones will go to Heaven – miraculously.

Classic threat and temptation gimmick – which is also the foundation of most of the popular religions! Their last resort – the life-after-death, the heaven and hell, one scary apocalyptic vision! Religious people really believe in this shit too.

The reward-punishment scare tactic really does work on people’s dumb frightened programmed mind.

Hindus, Christians, Muslims, followers of these major religions, all believe in the concept of heaven and hell. Even the Islamist suicide bombers believe in a heaven, where 72 virgin angles await each one of them as a reward for their heroic Jihad.

So getting back to the agenda at hand, for our Ram and Sita too, there will be a fan-following. No doubts. However, there’s still a little bit of a catch here. For this new religious bullshit to be successful, we are curiously anticipating the reincarnation of Raavan too.

Oh, how I love religion!

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Vikashananda opts for a Knock Out

March 14, 2008

Prachanda and Vikashananda

(Maoist chairman Prachanda and Vikashananda during the inauguration program of a new building of Manokranti Matrix in Godawari. March 9, 2008)

I have never played Boxing – but I can imagine how a boxer might feel like when, out of a sudden and out of a freaking blue – you receive a sucker punch that knocks you out cold for good.

THIS was the “sucker punch” move (almost) perfectly executed by Vikashananda on the Nepali media. Wait, plan and execute. Ingenious!

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Manokranti = Bare Ass Propaganda

February 25, 2008

(I am writing this with extreme respect for meditation and yoga)

Last week, some lucky people of Kathmandu witnessed a glorious farce in front of the Gorkhapatra Corporation, New Road where a bunch of Manokranti followers stripped naked and protested against the Nepali media for not publishing news about their numerous – what they claimed as – “incredible feats”.

They were holding placards written “Stop Yellow Journalism”, “where is the news about world cycle tour”, “where is the news about underground meditation”, “where is the news about walking on the fire”, “where is the news about 12 hours continuous speech”, “where is the news of Manokrantiversity” and also demanded “National acknowledgement/approval for Manokranti Philosophy” among others.

I do not care who this character “Dr. Yogi Vikashananda” is – nor do I care what his “vision”, “teaching” and “philosophy” are. I have nothing against his personal life and activities. He is entitled to his freedom of speech, opinion and pursuit. I do not care what his definition of “manokranti” (translation = revolution of self) is, nor do I care what they do inside their Manokranti Matrix Gurukul.

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Nepal – the Richest Country in TWO decades

February 17, 2008

There he goes again – he wants to be the president. That’s okay.

Prachanda

(Pic: Dipesh)

But the Nepali media should stop this glorious bullshit by not constantly covering one man’s perversion. The media should respond by stating that this is a “Constituent Assembly” election NOT a presidential or parliamentary election. And, he wants to reign forever. Two decades!

This offends me, being a Nepali.