It’s Getting Better

November 23, 2008

Buddha Boy

Oh excellent!

Our Buddha Boy Bamjan is now ready and armed with “vajra” and is showering blessings and gratitude to his ever-obedient followers.

They are coming in thousands. Our Buddha Boy, has said he will be attain “nirvana” and then spread peace all over the world. Rejoice you all, rejoice.

Bamjan, our savior. Give us hope. Give us peace. Give us enlightenment. The one who has not eaten for 3 years, the supreme lord of Inedia, the one who can appear and disappear in a flicker of moment, the Buddha of Kaliyuug – lead us into your path towards glory.

The one who is untouched by wind, heat, winter storm, nor rain, nor snakes, nor wild animals – give us the light, before your re-disappear into the wild.

But until you re-emerge, till then, we will worship your posters (they should be already in the printing press by this time). We will burn incense every morning and pray for you – till you attain Buddhat’tyo.

Jai hoos. Jai hoos. Jai hoos.


Pic: BG
He traveled to Ratanpur, Bara for an investigative photojournalism and he said that the whole thing appeared as a big organized farce (ekdaam ramrari gariyeko nautanki lagyo malai ta) to him.

How dare he speak such disgrace about our Buddha Boy? Lord, may you forgive this little infantile deviated soul!!


Our Savior, Our Buddha Boy

November 18, 2008


“Buddha Boy” Ram Bahadur Bamjan has once again re-emerged after hiding out in jungle in the southern Nepal for almost a year.

Our guy looks amazingly healthy and chubby this time around, might be the “natural food” he’s been eating during his retreat in the jungle. Clean-shaven and with that long wavy hair which surely makes Rajesh Hamal sulky with jealousy, our guy looks like a true rock-star.

Gautam Bamjan. Bamjan Buddha. Whatever. Many Buddhist followers believe that Bamjan is the reincarnation of Gautam Buddha. They had swarmed to the jungle where he was initially found “meditating” to see the god “live”. They really poured into that place, out of piety and curiosity. They started offering the Buddha Boy with “dakchina and bheti” (means money, of course) as normal Hindu/Buddhist followers do.

Media intervened.

And unlike Gautam Buddha some 2500 years ago, it was not that difficult for our Buddha Boy to gain instant celebrity status. Foreigners too, started thronging to the place (no fucking wonder).

A month or so passes by.

And, in a very dramatic manner, our Buddha Boy reportedly complained of annoyance because of the swarming devotees, and said he could not meditate in peace.

Fair enough.

He then disappeared into “unknown” retreat.

(In the meantime, nobody knows what happened to all those cash offered by the devotees.)

And now, our Buddha Boy has made a comeback.


With a legion of Tibetan-style monks surrounding him, standing in silence with utmost reverence, our Buddha Boy has made his reappearance. Surreal! Clad in white robe, our Buddha Boy sits on the lotus-pose under a primitive tree and showers his benevolence to nirvana-seekers. He bestows his devoted subjects with blessings of eternal peace and happiness (while the subjects in turn are offering him cash, food and anything deemed good enough to trade for peace and happiness).

People are happy. Buddha Boy is happy. Monks are happy.

It would be “suun ma sughanda” if our Buddha Boy started watching GOD TV and learned those miraculous stuffs like touch-healings, distant healings, televised healings and prayer healings performed by the likes of Pastor Benny Hinn and Todd Bentley (and even Sai Baba). Start Television evangalism.

People would be happier. Buddha Boy would be happier. Monks would be happier.


(Both pics by: Binod Joshi/AP)


September 4, 2008

“God bless you all and God bless America”

Do Atheists and Agnostics and Muslims and Buddhists and Voodoos and Jews, do these vote in America?

Now that the Hindus in Orrisa, India have “either burned or damaged at least 2,400 buildings, including Christian prayer houses and schools”, will Bush/Chenny come after the Hindus? What would Obama/Biden or McCain/Palin do about it? Oh shit, Hindus. Terrorists.

But, India does not have OIL!

So the Christians in Orissa can go out in hiding. Expendable. Disposable. NON-issue.

And, damn you all. It’s “Koshi” not “Kosi”. And, don’t say “Koji” either. Ignorants. Arrogants.

After EYE-raq and EYE-ran and Mult-EYE and AntEYE – I thought they would say KosEYE. This time they got it right, though.

ChrEYEst! It’s KOSHI !!!


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Vikashananda opts for a Knock Out

March 14, 2008

Prachanda and Vikashananda

(Maoist chairman Prachanda and Vikashananda during the inauguration program of a new building of Manokranti Matrix in Godawari. March 9, 2008)

I have never played Boxing – but I can imagine how a boxer might feel like when, out of a sudden and out of a freaking blue – you receive a sucker punch that knocks you out cold for good.

THIS was the “sucker punch” move (almost) perfectly executed by Vikashananda on the Nepali media. Wait, plan and execute. Ingenious!

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Manokranti = Bare Ass Propaganda

February 25, 2008

(I am writing this with extreme respect for meditation and yoga)

Last week, some lucky people of Kathmandu witnessed a glorious farce in front of the Gorkhapatra Corporation, New Road where a bunch of Manokranti followers stripped naked and protested against the Nepali media for not publishing news about their numerous – what they claimed as – “incredible feats”.

They were holding placards written “Stop Yellow Journalism”, “where is the news about world cycle tour”, “where is the news about underground meditation”, “where is the news about walking on the fire”, “where is the news about 12 hours continuous speech”, “where is the news of Manokrantiversity” and also demanded “National acknowledgement/approval for Manokranti Philosophy” among others.

I do not care who this character “Dr. Yogi Vikashananda” is – nor do I care what his “vision”, “teaching” and “philosophy” are. I have nothing against his personal life and activities. He is entitled to his freedom of speech, opinion and pursuit. I do not care what his definition of “manokranti” (translation = revolution of self) is, nor do I care what they do inside their Manokranti Matrix Gurukul.

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