Why the freaking hell not !

November 14, 2011

Thesis x Thesis x Thesis
Just for Rs 7500
M.A. (English/Economics/Sociology/R.D./Population/Nepali/etc)
M.Ed. and M.B.S. as well

I mean why the hell not, if you can get a thesis done for just Rs 7500.

I took this photo while I was walking around Bagbazaar area, which is famous (rather notorious) for millions of coaching/tuition/study abroad centers. It was pasted right in front of the gates of Padma Kanya College. How fitting !

Nepal’s education system under Tribhuwan University is roughly like this:

Bachelor’s in Arts – 3 years
One exam at the end of each year (First year, Second year and Final year)
You just get registered on one of the TU affiliated colleges, preferably Tri Chandra, Padma Kanya, Min Bhawan, etcs.
Your attendance does not count, which means, you don’t need to show up to the classes.
Attend the yearly exam each year.
Apply for transcripts and certificates (which might be a lengthy process).

Master’s in Arts – 2 years
Join a TU affiliated college.
Submit your thesis proposal somewhere around the second half of the second year.
Forget about it because you have 5 YEARS to do few research and submit the thesis.

Here’s the thing that’s called – pain in the ass. Since most of these students (so called students) need to graduate the masters degrees just for certificates (why, it’s a long story.. may be later*) – the effort you need to put on for the thesis is a pure burden. Literature reviews, at least a solid research with loads of questionnaires, surveys, focused interviews and data collection, tabulation, presentation. Hypothesis. Conclusion. This certainly takes time – 6 months, may be a year, may be two. What a pain in the ass.

Long story cut short:

This guy has probably figured a way out for all the trouble these MA students have to go through. And he’s here to extend his sincere help. He is probably a teacher or a lecturer or a professor. And he needs quick bucks. Well, if you need a ready-made thesis (obviously with some modifications required to make it look like an original research), just dial this guy up. Do him a favour, Do YOURSELF a favour.

In many government offices, it has been found that employees usually submit fake certificates to join the office. Fake documents include SLC/Bachelor’s/Master’s degrees certificates forged from Indian colleges and universities, mostly from Bihar area.


The Wait

February 1, 2011

The Wait!

But of course, religion is business. Probably, the concept of business evolved simultaneously with the origin of religion. Just like in any other business, there are big dogs and small dogs, cunning dogs and brainless dogs.

And, sadly, these are like waiting dogs type. They can never be the “mul-purohit” or “guru pujari” of the temple they work at. I just wonder, do these “street pundits” ever dream about becoming the mul-purohit of the Pashupatinath temple? The biggest dog in the business.

I think they do. I think they resent the fact that some Indian national is holding the biggest post in their business and they curse and they spit and they curse and they go on about waiting on that corner of the temple.

[Photo taken at: Dakchinkali Temple. And, OK, I have to admit. The photo lies. Some 10 or so people swarmed onto these guys right after I took the picture.]


July 29, 2009

It’s pitch black dark on the road. Must be because of the power cut. The head light of my bike has been dimmer for some months now. Can’t see clearly what’s ahead. It is around 8 in this cold winter evening and my stomach makes horrible gurgles. I haven’t eaten for several hours. No lunch break.

I am about to turn left to the main street. I see a cop, frantically gesturing me to stop. He’s carrying a little stick – points towards me. He yells on the top of his lungs, “oii bike, stop it over, right there”.

Oii bike, huh. That’s the way they speak to the commoners. Oii cycle, oii bike, oii black shirt, oii white pant. Oii taxi. Oii kukkur. Cops. Pigs.

I’m annoyed. With calmness I inquire –
“What’s the matter, police dai?”
Fuck, I “Police dai” him.

“Didn’t I say to stop the bike immediately?”

 “Yes you did. And I did comply. What’s the matter?”

“Don’t you see? It is a Sawaari”.


The main street, which leads out to the big entrance of Singha Durbar, has been emptied out. I now see, on both sides of the street, there are blue-shirts every 10 meters or so apart. Some big fuss. Blue-shits.

The lone statue of Prithivi Narayan Shah must have heard me and scoffed. Oii bike. Police dai.

Oh yeah, I remember. UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon has just landed Kathmandu on his special jet. And he is to attend a dinner with the prime minister in Singha Durbar.

Hunger creeps in.

The blue-shirt is just doing what he has been told to do. But, Oii bike, seems rude and insulting to me. I am merely a bike. A thing. His voice – still echoing in my head. Oii bike. Cops treat shit. I hate pigs.

I look around and see a couple of cart-vendors. They too are waiting for Mr Ban. That pig must have said “oii gaadaa”.

“Hello, how much longer do we have to wait here?” I ask.
“Don’t know. 5. 10. 15 minutes.”

I know it’s the Mr. Ban Ki Moon’s “sawaari” coming but I just want to get home asap and eat like a pig.

The cop paces around. Loiters. Lurks. His stick dangling on his right hand. There’s no sign of any revolving light yet. No siren. No sign of long line of shiny black cars.
Only hunger.

For those about to “throw shoes”

December 16, 2008


And, for the one who dared doing it – I salute you.

Umm.. excuse me,
will the Americans attack the Iraqi people with shoe-bombs now?

Dance Baby Dance – A Drama in Three Acts

November 29, 2008


Act 1: Maoist Central Committee Meeting

The central committee meeting ended inconclusively.

Party chairman Puspa Kamal Dahal “Prachanda” and party’s ideologue Mohan Baidhya “Kiran” had presented two separate political proposals to determine the party’s future direction. Prachanda proposed a “Transitional Democratic Republic” model; Kiran proposed a radical “People’s Republic through Revolt” model*.

After days of meeting, the committee members could not resolve on which proposal to endorse. They are to have a discussion of the issue in the party’s general assembly, scheduled for some time next year.

At least that’s what people have been told.

Though, there’s a seeming “rift” among the Maoist central members – one for Prachanda+Baburam, another for Kiran+Gajurel. However, it was not that hard to comprehend that the rift is all but well designed propaganda, with media acting like a complete jerk.

Nepali Congress – it almost rejoiced on the news of the “rift” in the Maoist party. Opportunist, yet completely gullible!

Act 2: Maoists Cadres’ National Convention

Divided into 21 groups, some 1200 Maoist cadres got all set to discuss and finalize one of the two proposals.

Kiran’s proposal of declaring People’s Republic through a Revolt – appealed to those hard-ass-liners, radicals and extremists on the party’s frontline. Prachanda’s proposal seemed to appeal to those slightly drifting from the hardcore radicalism who had already started to grasp the idea – “you need to lick balls of the neighbors and power-nations to be in the power and when you get tired of licking balls, lick it all over again”.

So they discussed. For two days.

In the meantime, the “rift” was highlighted with jubilation in media. It was, they said, inevitable! The party is on the shameful brink of disintegration.

The designers must have had a good laugh.

Act 3: People’s Federal Democratic National Republic**

In an extraordinary turn of events, the party convention endorses Prachanda’s proposal. After five days of discussion, which had the whole nation gawking with full attention, the party cadres and central committee members agree to follow Prachanda’s proposal as the party’s future direction.

Baburam Bhattarai, thutey junga musaardai, said that the party is disintegration-proof and it will initiate its people centric work from the government, parliament and street. (What’s stopping you.. do it… please do it. Shut up and do it.)

After making everyone dance to their tune for five continuous days, the top heads ended the convention with a revolutionary exclamation mark – everyone one of them danced on the stage***.

Nothing is so delightful than a successful drama – a well executed and directed farce in three acts.

* The concept seems as ridiculous as the first ever wall president of Republic of Nepal – Prachanda. Kiran should be out of his mind. His proposal: People’s Republic through Revolt? Revolt – what revolt! His party is in the government, for Hanumaan’s sake! Has any one heard of any government revolting against itself? Revolt – for whom? for what? Ruling party revolting against what?

It beats me with its profound idiocy. The concept is palin stupid. Period.

** Somehow, it’s going to be hard for kids remembering our country’s name:
PFDNR of Nepal.


Our Honorable Constituent Assembly Members

November 28, 2008

CA members.
Forged bills.
Fake bills.
Bills of taxi fare, of shoe repair, of Horlicks, of fruits, of condoms.
These are the ones writing the new constitution for us.


CA members earn approximately Rs.50,000 per month (salary and allowances of all sorts).

Daridra Maanasik’ta: Poverty is not a condition, it’s a mentality.


It’s Getting Better

November 23, 2008

Buddha Boy

Oh excellent!

Our Buddha Boy Bamjan is now ready and armed with “vajra” and is showering blessings and gratitude to his ever-obedient followers.

They are coming in thousands. Our Buddha Boy, has said he will be attain “nirvana” and then spread peace all over the world. Rejoice you all, rejoice.

Bamjan, our savior. Give us hope. Give us peace. Give us enlightenment. The one who has not eaten for 3 years, the supreme lord of Inedia, the one who can appear and disappear in a flicker of moment, the Buddha of Kaliyuug – lead us into your path towards glory.

The one who is untouched by wind, heat, winter storm, nor rain, nor snakes, nor wild animals – give us the light, before your re-disappear into the wild.

But until you re-emerge, till then, we will worship your posters (they should be already in the printing press by this time). We will burn incense every morning and pray for you – till you attain Buddhat’tyo.

Jai hoos. Jai hoos. Jai hoos.


Pic: BG
He traveled to Ratanpur, Bara for an investigative photojournalism and he said that the whole thing appeared as a big organized farce (ekdaam ramrari gariyeko nautanki lagyo malai ta) to him.

How dare he speak such disgrace about our Buddha Boy? Lord, may you forgive this little infantile deviated soul!!