The Best Page in the Universe

I love this guy.

Yes, he is a genius, rest are not.

Blog: The word “blog” is literally shorthand for “boring;” a vulgar, overused word that strikes your ear with the dull thud of a cudgel to the soft spot of a child’s head. It’s an abbreviation used by journalism drop outs to give legitimacy to their shallow opinions and amateur photography that seems to be permanently stuck in first draft hell.

Blogger: Term used to describe anyone with enough time or narcissism to document every tedious bit of minutia filling their uneventful lives. Possibly the most annoying thing about bloggers is the sense of self-importance they get after even the most modest of publicity. Sometimes it takes as little as a referral on a more popular blogger’s website to set the lesser blogger’s ego into orbit.

Blogging: If minds had anuses, blogging would be what your mind would do when it had to take a dump.

Blogged: What you call a trivial or largely inconsequential topic once bloggers have processed through every tired detail. For more on this, look into: every minor news story.

Blogosphere: The “blogosphere” is the new buzz word that has replaced “information super highway.” It’s what idiots like to call a collection of “blogs,” otherwise known as a tragedy.

Blogomania: Like all other manias, except relating to the infatuation of blogs. It’s one step above the more caustic phrase “blog-o-rama.” Thankfully the latter hasn’t caught on to the extent of its brethren, but that doesn’t stop me from punching anyone who says it in the dick.

Blogroll: A long list of links that nobody will ever click on. Bloggers not only link to their friends and fellow bloggers, but their eventual goal is to link to every linkable document on the Internet.

Blogstorm: A zany phrase news anchors like to use any time they think there’s an abnormal amount of posts on blogs regarding any particular topic. Of course, they fail to consider any amount of posting to a blog is abnormal since people who are well adjusted usually have better things to do, i.e., work, or failing that, anything else.

Blogging community: Losers, goths, bedwetters, and journalism dropouts.

Blogebrity: Wow, guess what this one stands for? Too easy. Hey, anyone can do it: take a blogger who’s a chef, and you get: BLEF. A blogger who’s a dentist? BENTIST. A female blogger with an itch? You guessed it: a BITCH.

Friendblog: None are known to exist since bloggers don’t have friends.

Watchblog: Let’s not.

For more, visit this guy’s site:

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=banish
http://maddox.xmission.com/

Advertisements

3 Responses to The Best Page in the Universe

  1. Really, do you think he’s funny? I guess on the surface he is, but he gets old really, really quick. It is so easy to rip things apart, throw a few of the usual f-words around, then sit back and watch the fun as people get wound up and send him hate mail. He’s a troll with his own website – a boring and out of date one, to boot.

  2. S says:

    Albeit not written by you- this is the best part of your blog. Such a slap in the face to all the pseudo/non-pseudo intellectuals.

  3. My fellow on Facebook shared this link with me and I’m not dissapointed at all that I came to your blog.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: