It’s pitch black dark on the road. Must be because of the power cut. The head light of my bike has been dimmer for some months now. Can’t see clearly what’s ahead. It is around 8 in this cold winter evening and my stomach makes horrible gurgles. I haven’t eaten for several hours. No lunch break.

I am about to turn left to the main street. I see a cop, frantically gesturing me to stop. He’s carrying a little stick – points towards me. He yells on the top of his lungs, “oii bike, stop it over, right there”.

Oii bike, huh. That’s the way they speak to the commoners. Oii cycle, oii bike, oii black shirt, oii white pant. Oii taxi. Oii kukkur. Cops. Pigs.

I’m annoyed. With calmness I inquire –
“What’s the matter, police dai?”
Fuck, I “Police dai” him.

“Didn’t I say to stop the bike immediately?”

 “Yes you did. And I did comply. What’s the matter?”

“Don’t you see? It is a Sawaari”.

Shit.

The main street, which leads out to the big entrance of Singha Durbar, has been emptied out. I now see, on both sides of the street, there are blue-shirts every 10 meters or so apart. Some big fuss. Blue-shits.

The lone statue of Prithivi Narayan Shah must have heard me and scoffed. Oii bike. Police dai.

Oh yeah, I remember. UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon has just landed Kathmandu on his special jet. And he is to attend a dinner with the prime minister in Singha Durbar.

Hunger creeps in.

The blue-shirt is just doing what he has been told to do. But, Oii bike, seems rude and insulting to me. I am merely a bike. A thing. His voice – still echoing in my head. Oii bike. Cops treat shit. I hate pigs.

I look around and see a couple of cart-vendors. They too are waiting for Mr Ban. That pig must have said “oii gaadaa”.

“Hello, how much longer do we have to wait here?” I ask.
“Don’t know. 5. 10. 15 minutes.”
Damn.

I know it’s the Mr. Ban Ki Moon’s “sawaari” coming but I just want to get home asap and eat like a pig.

The cop paces around. Loiters. Lurks. His stick dangling on his right hand. There’s no sign of any revolving light yet. No siren. No sign of long line of shiny black cars.
Shit.
Silence.
Only hunger.

A union of school teachers, affiliated to the Communist Party of Nepal (Maoists), demonstrated a highly “innovative” style of protest a few days ago in Saptari.

They brought all the students of a local primary school at Kalyanpur of the district to the highway and had them sit across the road, spread their books and study while blocking transportation movement.

Innovative, indeed – not that the Maoists had not used students during their political rallies (and child soldiers in their armed guerilla).

Photo: Rajesh Jha/Saptari

An excerpt of a debate on PG’s facebook status:

PG: Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?” – Epicurus

SG: have you read angels and demons? you’ll find an answer there.

PG: yes I have. I just love the quote for the fact that it attacks the general idea that God is someone who actually preserves good while it destroys evil. It clearly isn’t the case.

I guess the whole process of creation-life-destruction is god, but then, how would I know or who am I to know?

However the general idea doesn’t hold any water, that’s for sure. Hence, this quote rules, baiibee!

MS: I pray to God that He fire your ass with a divine thunderbolt – all you non-believers. Burn in hell !!
Jesus rocks.. you sucks.

PG: hahahahhahahhahaha…dammi. what about Sai Baba? or Ram Bomjon? or even Pashupatinath (uha lai ta sable upayog garera wakka bhaisaknubhayo hola..lol)? uniharu lai chai hepdine? khali jesus rocks?

PG: Jesus Rocks … literally. asti jawlakhel ko church ma bhaeko thyo rock concert, and it really ROCKED! hajur le sunnu bhaeko thyo awaj?

MS: Jesus can screw Sai Baba’s ass.. any time, any day.. any where.. he’s omnipowerful !! If Jesus wished, he could even make Sai Baba bald in half a second.. but he’s a loving god.. so he won’t play such cruel prank on Sai Baba.

Bottom line: Sai Baba is because Jesus allows him to.

SG: no it doesn’t. when evil itself is his creation how can he be not able to prevent it? it’s just his way of letting you learn. to quote dan brown..it’s like a father letting his child ride a bike on his own. the child might fall down..hurt himself..but will eventually learn to balance himself. that being said, i’m no advocate for creationism or the existence of god. if you’re willing to convince me that he doesn’t exist, i’m willing to listen/change. but stupid reasonings like these annoy me.

MS: God is actually a “She” but average human beings like us can’t comprehend his “lila”. God appears to be He and He likes to have fun while people discuss over his existence. Sometimes he also projects himself as a “Fairy”.. when it’s time to have fun at gay-pride parades.
Bottomline: You can’t comprehend God.

PG: ok. but if he wants us to avoid evil, why does he creates it in the first place? and falling down from a bike is one thing, but letting the child crush his head in the name of ‘letting to learn’ is something else. and that’s something a father doesn’t do. The evil on earth is not ‘letting humanity learn’, its been crushing it, especially the poor and the weak from day 1, and it will continue, even ferociously in the future. George fucking Bush gives a signature, and a poor Iraqi child explodes. The ‘learning’ part, sadly doesn’t exist.
So I believe the concept of God, i.e. an all loving entity that is against evil, or in your case, ‘the one who wants us to learn’ is wrong. but that’s just me.

As I said above, I guess the whole process of creation-life-destruction is god. the whole phenomenon of life, itself is god. Good and evil, is none of God’s business. its ours and ours alone. we create it, we destroy it. and the cycle continues. Apologies, if this annoyed you.

PG: ok, in conclusion – What MS said.

SG: yeah i think that conclusion just sums it up.

MS: God bless you both.. Jesus loves sweet boys like you..

PG: And he loves sweet (old bhanu ki young bhanu? your choice) like you as well. leh! dubai ko daari pani raichha, bharkhar yad bhaeko!

NP: what is it?
Is HUMAN a blunder of GOD
or
GOD blunder of HUMAN

PG:khoi?

MS: Who questions GOD’s work ! You burn in hell… enternally.. hands tied behind..

Just being a total lazyass as days roll by. Here’s a copy/paste from Facebook page.

MF: Nepali people don’t really smile to each other any more !

RS: Smile gareko pani dekhidaina batti gayera ani kina garnu paryo ta? (One can’t even see others smile because of the power cut, what’s the point in smiling?)

MF: hahaha hahaha.. atti hasayo yaar.

BS: I agree. Almost like everyone has turned into stone.

MF: Sachi ho kya. People are so cold these days. I know this saying is clichéd but it’s as if people have to “pay to smile back”. People have all these mixed expression of “distrust + hostility + suspicion + even amazement” when you greet them with a smile.
Bank tellers, security guards, Traffic Police at the stop light, random people I meet at work, girls (yeah of course), Shopkeepers, random people I trip shoulders with while walking…. the list goes on. They don’t smile back at all.

LR: I’ve seen many faces back home and abroad.. and I must point out that majority of Neps are the worst people I’ve seen. We have nothing to give…but we act as if we got all the riches in the world. EGO – a major problem. And while everyone else is developing with time.. our clocks are running backwards.. we boast for no reason.. we fight for no reason.. we argue for no reason and we claim respect for no reason. And while India is constantly raping our history, we stand helpless with a big attitude on our proud faces. People just don’t realize that our PRIDE is no longer in existence.

BTS: That’s not true…exceptions are there and that’s me me me !!!

SCA: Here I am to smile at your face. Cool down, man.

MF: Hahaha… dhanyabaad

When the prime minister of the communist government of a secular country is the patron of the Hindus’ greatest temple Pashupatinath, it even puts a “happily atheist” like me to shame, I wonder what the Mao is wondering.

Two face cockroach pigs!

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Click here too

Guilty of violating traffic rules (sometimes) as he mentioned – how shameless of me!

Have I done that? Yes.
Have I been punished? No.
Will I do it again? Umm.. let me try not to.

Why Nepal’s traffic is a mess?

How shameless of us!

Yes, we have the reincarnations of Ram and Sita in our jungle. (As seen on Sagarmatha TV report.)

After Ram Bahadur Bomjan’s reincarnation as the Buddha, we now have a couple doing their “jungle lila” in Chatara of Sunsari district, claiming to have taken over by divine souls of Ram and Sita.

Forget the republic or people’s republic and all the political bullshit. At this rate, Nepal should be declared the Land of Reincarnations.

In no time, we will have Lord Shiva and Parvati doing their “lila” in the jungles. And to supreme delight of Hare Krishna followers, Bishnu and Krishna are likely to follow the hoard of reincarnated gods trying to cleanse the sinners and save the humanity. Jesus F. Christ too, after so notoriously eluding during the End of Days and millennium, should start planning to appear in the jungles. Dude, it’s already a time for your “second coming”, isn’t it? So, you don’t want to miss out because this has been a very hot season for reincarnations. (I am really not sure about Allah though.)

This couple of Ram and Sita, however, may not spur on as large a fan-following as our Buddha Boy managed to do. Reason – mainly because of their looks! (Sorry, no photos yet) They are simply not up to the par. You see, we have had the perfect pictures of the gods (ie, wall posters of gods) since time immemorial.

Gautam Buddha, as gentle, smiling, ever forgiving with shaven head and wrapped up in white linen, a messenger of peace, meditating underneath the tree. Our Buddha Boy does seem to carry the same presence and aura of Gautam Buddha, except for his long hairs. The long hair is there to give Buddha a retro look, to appeal the modern mass. That’s quite understandable, isn’t it?

As far as, Ram and Sita are concerned, they have been depicted as a lovely couple of Arun Gobil and Deepika. Thanks to Ramanand Sagar’s Ramayan on television, Hindus, especially of the Indian sub continent, have envisioned Ram as a very handsome guy with radiating countenance; while Sita as an angel with seducing eyes like of deer.

Thus it is going to be really hard for this reincarnated Ram and Sita, because of their unappealing and uncharismatic looks, to assure the people that they have the souls of the gods. A very costly glitch in the marketing department, indeed! Bad for business!! Poor Ram and Sita, they can’t even beat our Din Bandhu Pokharel in good looks. So they must plan for another gimmick.

(Suggestion for Jesus F Christ reincarnation: you need to be white skinned, have long hair with a white ring stuck behind the head, have beard and a face of a loser – like the vocalist of a crappy melodic metal band.)

Their gimmick is that the earth, they claim, will be completely destroyed in the next four years and three months or so. Seen in their dreams, the Kali Yug will come to an end and the Satya Yug will start. All the sinners will be completely wiped out and their asses will be eternally toasted in Hell, while the pious ones will go to Heaven – miraculously.

Classic threat and temptation gimmick – which is also the foundation of most of the popular religions! Their last resort – the life-after-death, the heaven and hell, one scary apocalyptic vision! Religious people really believe in this shit too.

The reward-punishment scare tactic really does work on people’s dumb frightened programmed mind.

Hindus, Christians, Muslims, followers of these major religions, all believe in the concept of heaven and hell. Even the Islamist suicide bombers believe in a heaven, where 72 virgin angles await each one of them as a reward for their heroic Jihad.

So getting back to the agenda at hand, for our Ram and Sita too, there will be a fan-following. No doubts. However, there’s still a little bit of a catch here. For this new religious bullshit to be successful, we are curiously anticipating the reincarnation of Raavan too.

Oh, how I love religion!

Imagine a country where both the criminals and the police are working for the ruling party of the government. That’s New Nepal.

Nepali people getting what they deserve best – getting slapped with the true nature of communism right on their (our) face!

Here

And Here

And, for the one who dared doing it – I salute you.
\m/

Umm.. excuse me,
will the Americans attack the Iraqi people with shoe-bombs now?

Bush regrets Iraqi WMD failure:

Outgoing US President George Bush has said his biggest regret is the failure of intelligence over Iraqi weapons.

In a wide-ranging TV interview, he declined to say whether he would have decided to invade Iraq if he had known it had no weapons of mass destruction.

The outgoing president told ABC television: “The biggest regret of all the presidency has to have been the intelligence failure in Iraq.”

He added: “I wish the intelligence had been different.”

BBC, Tuesday, 2 December 2008

It has to be the jokest american joke of all times. I will surely tell this to my future kids.