“Lip-Sync” for Career

(The top ten contestants of Nepali Tara 2 performing, dancing and lip-sync-ing at the Public High School, Dharan on September 2007. Photo by Bijay Gajmer.)

“Lip-Sync” for Career
REASONS:
You do not need to rehearse.
You do not need a backing band.
You can concentrate on flashy dance moves.
You do not need to worry about singing “off pitch”.
You will never be “out of tune”.
You do not need to worry about controlling breath.
You do not need to worry about crappy “live” vocals.
You do not need to worry about forgetting the lyrics.
You can cope with you “stage fright” or “incapable vocal ability”.

PRECAUTIONS:

Do not let the “headphone mic” drop – because the music will still be on. Do not forget to have some sort of cable stuck back on your butts, unlike those assholes in the picture.

Make sure the CD that’s been played is scratch-free so that it won’t get stuck or skip on to the next track.

Be super confident. Believe that people/audience are a bunch of fools who just want to scream, shout, dance, want autographs, stick posters on their walls. Some will also buy albums.

RESULT:

Media will love you, no doubt.
You will be famous and rich (eventually).
You will have albums out.
You will tour, even to other countries.
Girls will go crazy for you (I do not know about boys).